For years, much of the conversation about children and social media has focused on parents: set limits, monitor activity, keep devices out of bedrooms, talk about online safety. These strategies help. But there’s another question worth asking:
How much responsibility for children’s online safety should fall on parents when digital environments are designed and operated by large technology companies?
That question is getting more attention in courts and governments. In August 2026, a New Mexico court ordered Meta, the parent company of Facebook and Instagram, to pay nearly $1 billion in total penalties and implement sweeping, court-supervised changes to how its platforms operate for young users — including notification limits for minors and new age-assurance requirements. Meta has said it intends to appeal.
Closer to home, the federal government introduced Bill C-34, the Safe Social Media Act, for first reading in June 2026. If passed, it would create new duties for social media platforms and AI chatbot services — including a proposed age threshold restricting social media accounts for children under 16. The bill hasn’t passed yet, but it signals where Canadian policy may be headed.
Should families be expected to carry the entire responsibility for helping children navigate environments that adults themselves can find difficult to regulate?
Why context matters
Psychologists routinely look at behaviour in context. When a child is struggling, we don’t just ask what’s wrong with them — we ask what demands are being placed on them, what’s reinforcing the behaviour, and what developmental skills they actually have.
The same lens applies to technology. Children and adolescents are still developing self-regulation, impulse control and judgment — the very skills needed to weigh immediate rewards against longer-term consequences. Meanwhile, many platforms are designed to capture and hold attention through personalized recommendations, notifications, autoplay and endless scrolling. Canada’s proposed Safe Social Media Act specifically names these features as contributors to online harm.
That’s a real mismatch: developing brains asked to regulate themselves inside environments built to prevent exactly that. It doesn’t mean children bear no responsibility — it means we should be realistic about what we’re asking of them.
What parents can do
Parents remain one of the most important influences on a child’s technology habits. Families can set age-appropriate expectations, establish device-free times and spaces, talk regularly about online experiences, model balanced use themselves, and help children build the skills they’ll eventually need to manage technology independently.
This looks different for every child. One teen may use social media without much difficulty; another may become preoccupied with notifications, comparison or conflict — especially if they’re already dealing with anxiety, attention difficulties, loneliness or sleep problems. A one-size-fits-all approach rarely works.
If you’re reading this feeling like you should be doing more — you’re not alone, and you’re not the only line of defence. Reach out to our team if you’d like support figuring out what’s happening for your child specifically.
Why parents can’t solve this alone
Parents control a lot in a child’s immediate environment. They don’t control how a platform’s recommendation system works, what content gets promoted, or what safety features a company chooses to build. That’s why online safety is increasingly framed as shared responsibility:
- Technology companies are responsible for how their products affect young users.
- Governments and regulators set the standards and protections required.
- Schools build digital literacy and critical thinking.
- Mental-health professionals help families recognize when technology is affecting wellbeing.
- Parents provide boundaries, guidance and ongoing conversation.
As children mature, they gradually take on more responsibility for their own digital choices — shared at first, and increasingly transferred as competence develops.
Signs worth paying attention to
Not every child who spends a lot of time online has a problem. Instead of focusing on hours alone, look at how technology use is affecting everyday functioning: difficulty disengaging, ongoing conflict about devices, changes in sleep, withdrawal from other activities or people, trouble concentrating, irritability tied to online experiences, or technology interfering with school, relationships or family life.
These signs don’t automatically mean technology is the cause — sometimes it’s contributing to a difficulty, sometimes it’s a coping response to one, and sometimes both. A psychologist can help make sense of the bigger picture.
Start with curiosity, not blame
Instead of asking only “how do I get my child off their phone?” try: “What is my child getting from this technology, and what makes it difficult for them to stop?” Connection, achievement, belonging, or distraction from difficult emotions can all be functions worth understanding — because that understanding points toward a more useful response.
It also helps to check the basics: sleep, offline relationships, participation in daily life, tolerance for time away from the device, mood, and how much conflict technology is creating at home.
Moving beyond parent blame
Parents often feel like they’re failing when their kids struggle with technology. That guilt is understandable — parents are frequently told that the “right” limits and enough monitoring should prevent problems. But children’s digital lives exist within a much larger system, and parents are responsible for one part of it, not all of it.
Protecting children online shouldn’t require parents to out-engineer some of the world’s most sophisticated technology companies. A healthier approach treats this as shared work: families provide boundaries and guidance, schools build literacy, professionals support families when difficulties emerge, governments set standards, and companies are held accountable for the environments they create.
The goal isn’t a childhood free of technology — it’s helping children develop the skills, relationships and resilience to navigate it well. That means recognizing kids are still developing, looking at the environment around them, and remembering that parents deserve support too.
Looking for support for your child or family?
At Rocky Mountain Psychological Services in Calgary, our psychologists work with children, adolescents and families experiencing a range of emotional, behavioural, developmental and mental-health concerns.
If you are concerned about how technology, social media or other challenges are affecting your child’s wellbeing, we can help you explore what may be contributing to the difficulty and determine what kind of support may be appropriate.
Learn more about child and adolescent psychology services.
References
Fasken. (2026, June). Government of Canada introduces the Safe Social Media Act. https://www.fasken.com/en/knowledge/2026/06/government-of-canada-introduces-the-safe-social-media-act
Government of Canada, Department of Canadian Heritage. (2026). Bill C-34, the Safe Social Media Act. Canada.ca. https://www.canada.ca/en/canadian-heritage/services/safe-social-media-act.html
Mehta, I. (2026, August 7). New Mexico court orders Meta to pay additional $567M in child safety case. TechCrunch. https://techcrunch.com/2026/08/07/new-mexico-court-orders-meta-to-pay-additional-567m-in-child-safety-case/
New Mexico Department of Justice. (2026, August 7). Court orders Meta to pay $942 million and overhaul protections for children on Facebook and Instagram in landmark New Mexico ruling [Press release]. https://nmdoj.gov/press-release/court-orders-meta-to-pay-942-million-and-overhaul-protections-for-children-on-facebook-and-instagram-in-landmark-new-mexico-ruling/
Parliament of Canada. (2026). C-34 (45-1) — LEGISinfo. https://www.parl.ca/legisinfo/en/bill/45-1/c-34
PBS News. (2026, August 7). New Mexico court orders Meta to pay $567 million over mental health harms to kids online. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/new-mexico-court-orders-meta-to-pay-567-million-over-mental-health-harms-to-kids-online
Frequently Asked Questions About Children and Social Media
Social media can affect children differently depending on their age, developmental stage, individual characteristics and online experiences. For some children, it can provide connection and social support. For others, certain online experiences may contribute to stress, conflict, comparison, sleep disruption or emotional difficulties. It is important to consider how social media use is affecting the individual child’s overall functioning rather than assuming that social media affects every child in the same way.
There is no single screen-time amount that is appropriate for every child. Parents should consider the child’s age and developmental stage, as well as whether technology use is interfering with sleep, physical activity, school, relationships and other important parts of daily life. The quality and context of screen use can be just as important as the amount of time spent on a device.
Parents can play an important role in helping children use social media safely. The level of monitoring should be appropriate to the child’s age, maturity and individual circumstances. Younger children generally require more supervision, while adolescents can gradually take on more responsibility as they demonstrate the skills to manage online situations safely.
Parents may want to look more closely if technology use is consistently interfering with sleep, school, relationships, family life or previously enjoyed activities. Significant distress when stopping, persistent preoccupation with being online, or substantial changes in mood or behaviour may also warrant further attention.
Consider speaking with a mental-health professional if technology-related difficulties are persistent, are causing significant conflict or distress, or are interfering with your child’s sleep, school, relationships or everyday functioning. A psychologist can help determine whether technology is the primary concern or whether it may be connected to other difficulties your child is experiencing.
Start by trying to understand what makes the device difficult to put down. Set clear and predictable expectations, establish routines around technology, and avoid making every conversation about technology a confrontation. If conflicts are persistent or technology use appears connected to anxiety, emotional difficulties, sleep problems or other concerns, professional support may be helpful.
