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February Focus: Emotional Connection & Mental Health

In February, We Focus on Emotional Connection: Why Mental Health Matters in Relationships

February often brings conversations about love and relationships. At RMPS, we see this month as an opportunity to look beyond romantic gestures and focus on something more lasting: emotional connection. Healthy relationships are not built on perfection or constant harmony. They are built on emotional safety, responsiveness, and mutual understanding. These elements play a critical role in mental health, shaping how individuals manage stress, communicate, and feel supported within their relationships.

While emotional connection matters year-round, February offers a meaningful moment to reflect on how emotional closeness, or disconnection, impacts mental well-being in couples, families, and individuals. When emotional connection is strong, relationships can be a source of resilience and support. When it is missing, mental health often suffers.

At RMPS, we often work with individuals, couples, and families who describe a similar experience in different words: “We’re together, but we don’t feel connected anymore.”

There may not be constant conflict or a major rupture. Life continues. Responsibilities are met. Yet emotionally, something feels distant. Conversations stay surface-level, emotional support feels inconsistent, and one or both people feel unseen or alone within the relationship.

This kind of emotional disconnection is more common than many people realize, and it has meaningful implications for mental health.

Emotional connection is not a luxury in relationships. It is a psychological necessity. A growing body of research shows that emotional closeness, safety, and responsiveness within relationships play a critical role in emotional regulation, stress management, and overall mental well-being. When emotional connection weakens, mental health often follows.

What Emotional Connection Really Means

Emotional connection refers to the felt sense that you are emotionally understood and valued by another person. It develops when individuals experience consistent emotional responsiveness when feelings are noticed, acknowledged, and taken seriously.

Rather than being about constant agreement or emotional intensity, emotional connection is about safety. It allows people to express emotions, needs, and vulnerabilities without fear of dismissal or rejection.

From a psychological perspective, emotional connection supports secure attachment, which has been strongly associated with lower levels of anxiety, better emotional regulation, and healthier relationship functioning across adulthood (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).

Emotional Connection and the Nervous System

Humans are biologically wired for connection. Our nervous systems are shaped through relationships, especially those that provide emotional safety and consistency. When emotional connection is present, the nervous system is better able to regulate stress.

Research in social neuroscience suggests that supportive relationships reduce the brain’s threat response, lowering emotional reactivity and stress-related symptoms (Coan & Sbarra, 2015). In contrast, emotional disconnection can keep the nervous system in a heightened or guarded state, contributing to anxiety, irritability, and emotional withdrawal.

This helps explain why relationship stress often shows up as physical tension, sleep difficulties, or emotional exhaustion.

How Emotional Disconnection Affects Mental Health

Emotional disconnection within relationships is closely linked to increased symptoms of anxiety and depression. When individuals feel emotionally unsupported or misunderstood by close partners, mental health concerns often intensify over time (Whisman & Baucom, 2012).

At RMPS, we commonly see emotional disconnection contributing to:

  • Persistent worry or emotional reactivity
  • Low mood, hopelessness, or emotional numbness
  • Increased sensitivity to conflict
  • Withdrawal or shutdown during difficult conversations

Importantly, these experiences can occur even when a relationship appears stable on the surface.

Loneliness Within Relationships

One of the most painful experiences people describe in therapy is feeling lonely while being in a relationship. Research suggests that perceived emotional isolation, more than physical isolation, is strongly associated with poorer mental health outcomes (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).

When emotional connection fades, individuals may begin to internalize the experience, questioning their worth or believing their emotional needs are “too much.” Over time, this can erode self-esteem and emotional resilience.

At RMPS, we view this not as a personal failing, but as a signal that emotional needs are unmet or communication patterns need support.

Emotional Connection and Conflict

Conflict is a normal part of close relationships. What determines whether conflict harms mental health is not how often it occurs, but how emotionally safe people feel during and after disagreements.

Long-term relationship research shows that emotional responsiveness and repair, not conflict avoidance, predict relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being (Gottman & Levenson, 2000). When emotional connection is low, conflict tends to escalate or shut down completely. When connection is strong, even difficult conversations feel more manageable.

This is why emotional connection acts as a protective factor during stress and disagreement.

Mental Health Challenges and Emotional Availability

Mental health difficulties can both contribute to and result from emotional disconnection. Conditions such as anxiety, depression, trauma, and ADHD can affect emotional availability, communication, and responsiveness within relationships.

For example, depression may reduce emotional expression, while anxiety can heighten reactivity or reassurance-seeking. Trauma may increase emotional avoidance, and ADHD can impact emotional regulation or attentiveness. Without understanding these dynamics, partners may misinterpret symptoms as lack of care, further widening emotional distance.

Research highlights the importance of emotionally supportive relationships in buffering the effects of mental health challenges (Whisman & Baucom, 2012).

Emotional Connection in Families and Parenting

Emotional connection is equally vital in parent-child relationships. Children and teens rely on emotionally responsive caregivers to develop secure attachment, emotional regulation, and resilience.

Research consistently shows that emotionally attuned parenting supports healthier stress responses and emotional development, while chronic emotional disconnection increases the risk of anxiety and behavioural difficulties (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).

Supporting parental mental health is therefore one of the most effective ways to strengthen emotional connection within families.

Why Emotional Connection Protects Mental Health

Strong emotional connection supports mental health in several key ways. It helps regulate stress responses, improves emotional awareness, and enhances resilience during life transitions. Emotionally supportive relationships also promote psychological safety, which allows individuals to seek help and recover more effectively from emotional distress.

Large-scale research on social connection even suggests that emotionally supportive relationships are associated with better long-term health outcomes and reduced mortality risk (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2015).

Rebuilding Emotional Connection

Rebuilding emotional connection does not require dramatic change. It begins with small, consistent shifts toward emotional presence and safety. Therapy provides a structured space to explore emotional patterns, improve communication, and rebuild trust after periods of disconnection.

At RMPS, we help individuals and families understand not only what is happening in their relationships, but why and how to move forward with compassion and clarity.

How RMPS Supports Emotional Connection and Mental Health

At RMPS, we take a relationship-informed approach to mental health care. Whether working with individuals, parents, or families, we recognize that emotional connection plays a central role in psychological well-being.

Our clinicians support clients in:

  • Strengthening emotional awareness and responsiveness
  • Addressing anxiety, depression, trauma, and ADHD within relationships
  • Rebuilding emotional safety and trust
  • Improving communication and conflict repair
  • Supporting both individual and relational mental health

We believe that meaningful mental health care includes understanding the emotional bonds that shape our lives.

Final Thoughts

As February invites conversations about love and connection, it offers a meaningful opportunity to reflect on the emotional health of our relationships. Emotional connection is not about grand gestures or perfection, it is about feeling safe, understood, and supported over time. By paying attention to emotional connection this month, individuals and families can take an important step toward strengthening both their relationships and their mental well-being.

Emotional connection is foundational to mental health in relationships. When people feel emotionally safe, understood, and supported, they are better equipped to manage stress, regulate emotions, and grow together.

When emotional connection breaks down, mental health often suffers, but with awareness and support, it can be rebuilt. If emotional disconnection is affecting your relationship or well-being, support is available, and meaningful change is possible.

References

Coan, J. A., & Sbarra, D. A. (2015). Social baseline theory: The social regulation of risk and effort. Current Opinion in Psychology, 1, 87– 91. 

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2014.12.021

Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 737–745.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00737.x

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

Book Appointment

MacKenzie Ebel

MacKenzie is a Psychometrist/Psychological Assistant at RMPS. She completed her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at Princeton University, where she also played 4 years for the women’s ice hockey team. She recently completed her Masters in Counselling Psychology through City University of Seattle. MacKenzie has worked with children, youth, and their families in a number of settings, through coaching, as a behavioural aid, and counselling through her internship placement. She is excited to continue learning about assessment administration, neurofeedback, and play therapy practices at RMPS! Currently, she is part of the assessment and neurotherapy team, as she completes her final capstone assignment and intends to join our counselling team as a Registered Provisional Psychologist.

Tammy Thomson

Tammy is a graduate of the Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology (MACP) program at Yorkville University and is trained at the master’s level in art therapy as a professional art psychotherapist and member of the Canadian Art Therapy Association. She brings more than 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families in child development settings, children’s hospitals, and schools as an early childhood educator and elementary teacher. She completed a Bachelor of Applied Science specializing in Child Development Studies at the University of Guelph, Ontario and holds a Graduate Diploma of Teaching and Learning from the University of Canterbury in Christchurch, New Zealand. Tammy is a member of the Canadian Counsellor and Psychotherapy Association and College of Alberta Psychologists while pursuing her next goal of registration as a provisional psychologist. Tammy values a client-centered approach using play therapy and the expressive arts to support those who may find it difficult to articulate their thoughts and feelings with words. Children and families do not need any skill or prior art experience and the art studio is a safe place where children can gain a sense of independence, greater emotional regulation, and confidence through self-exploration. Expressive interventions in art therapy can treat behavioural issues, anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, physical and developmental disabilities, and attachment difficulties. As a parent of three young children herself, Tammy understands the complexities of family life using compassion to help parents feel more confident in their role of raising a successful family.

Raquel Freitas

Raquel is an Office Administrator at RMPS. Back in Brazil, her home country, she graduated as a Psychologist and worked as a clinician for the past 5 years. Although she loved working with children and adults, she discovered a new passion: manage the administrative tasks that keep the business running. 

As someone who is passionate about learning new things and developing new skills, with the career transition also came the decision to live abroad and explore a new culture. To serve empathetically and connect with people is Raquel’s main personal and professional goal.

Emma Donnelly

Emma is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She completed her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology in her hometown at Brandon University, after which she moved to Calgary to earn her Master’s of Science in School and Applied Child Psychology at the University of Calgary. Emma has a passion for working with children and families and has experience doing so in a number of settings, including schools, homes, early intervention programs, and within the community. She specializes in assessment, including psychoeduational, social-emotional-behavioural, and autism assessment. Emma uses a client centred approach to counselling, supported by cognitive behavioural therapy, as well as play-based and attachment-based techniques. She believes in meeting clients where they are at and prides herself in working together with her clients to achieve their goals, improve their functioning, and enjoy their daily life.

Amanda Stoner

Amanda is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Amanda earned her doctoral degree in Psychology at Brock University in Ontario in 2017, with a specialization in developmental psychology. Amanda provides formal assessment services at RMPS. 

Since 2009, Amanda has received formal training and work experience in private practice settings in conducting psycho-educational assessments for students ranging from preschool through university. Amanda is skilled at test administration, interpretation of data, and report writing for various referral questions including ADHD, Learning Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety, Giftedness, and Intellectual Disabilities. Amanda enjoys working with people of all ages from diverse backgrounds, and she tries to make the testing environment feel relaxed and comfortable while maintaining integrity in testing protocol.

Denise Riewe

Denise has completed a Bachelor of Health Sciences through the University of Lethbridge and a Master of Counselling with Athabasca University. She is a Registered Provisional Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists and a member of the Psychological Association of Alberta. Denise has over 9 years of experience supporting children, youth and their families in both residential and community-based practices. Denise is experienced in working with high and at-risk youth, supporting children and their families with strength-based approaches. She practices from a client-center approach supported by Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Theraplay, and other play and art-based modalities.

John Pynn

John is a Registered Provisional Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. He completed his Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology at Yorkville University. He brings more than 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families in a variety of settings. He brings a relaxed and collaborative atmosphere to sessions. John uses an integrated counselling approach including client-centred, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Solution-Focussed therapy (SFT) to find the best-fit for clients. He has experience with a variety of mental health concerns including anxiety, depression, anger, self-
esteem, relationships, parenting, ADHD, grief/loss, addictions, and trauma. This broad experience comes from working in schools, social service agencies, group-care, and clinical settings. He also draws from the practical experience of being a parent to two teenagers as well as a husband. Supporting and empowering clients with mental health concerns is something John genuinely enjoys. John also provides counselling for adults and holds a Gottman level 1 certification for couples therapy.

Zara Crasto

Zara is a Psychometrist/Psychological Assistant at RMPS. She completed her Bachelor of Science in Psychology at the University of Calgary and her Graduate Diploma in Psychological Assessment at Concordia University of Edmonton. 

Zara has spent over five years working alongside children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of settings. These include public and private schools, in-home support, residential programs, early-intervention programs, and non-profit organizations. Currently, Zara is part of the assessment and neurotherapy team. As a lifelong learner, Zara plans to go back to graduate school and eventually become a psychologist one day.

Kellie Lanktree

Kellie is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She completed a Bachelor of Child and Youth Care with the University of Victoria and a Master of Education in Counselling Psychology through the University of Lethbridge. Kellie has over 10 years experience supporting children and youth with developmental disorders/delays and their families. Kellie has experience working in schools, clinical settings, and within homes to provide support and therapeutic interventions. Through her time at RMPS, Kellie has also gained experience in helping individuals affected by trauma, grief/loss, separations, emotional dysregulation, depression, and anxiety. Kellie practices through developmental, attachment-based and trauma-informed lenses, and draws from a variety of play-based approaches such as Synergetic Play Therapy, Child-centered play therapy, DIR/Floortime, art-based mediums, and mindfulness-based practices. Kellie also provides Neurofeedback therapy, and is working on receiving her certification through BCIA. Kellie believes in meeting children and their families where they are at and that there is no “one size fits all” for therapy.