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Helping Children Cope When Away From Family During Holidays

Helping Children Cope When They Are Far Away During Holidays

Holidays are meant to be joyous, memorable, and full of connection. Yet for many children,  especially those separated from parents or primary caregivers during festive seasons, the holidays can bring emotional challenges that linger far beyond the celebration itself. Whether because of work commitments, travel, family arrangements, boarding school, or caregiver responsibilities, separation during the holidays can affect a child’s emotional well‑being.

At RMPS, we believe every child deserves emotional support, security, and opportunities to grow resilient, no matter the distance from loved ones. As a psychologist and Director of RMPS, I know this issue deeply touches families and educators alike, and that understanding children’s emotional needs empowers us to support them more effectively.

In this blog, I share evidence‑based guidance and practical strategies, supported by published research, to help children cope when they are far away during holidays.

The Emotional Impact of Separation on Children

Children’s emotional responses to separation are rooted in developmental psychology. A recent systematic review and meta‑analysis revealed that homesickness is a common experience for children separated from home and is significantly associated with symptoms of anxiety and depression during holiday or unfamiliar situations. (Demetriou et al., 2022) 

This means that children’s longing for family and familiar environments isn’t “just a phase”, it’s a measurable psychological experience with real emotional consequences. In another classic study, researchers observed that homesickness during brief separations,can lead to increased depressive symptoms and internalizing behaviors, particularly in children with less prior experience with separation. 

Understanding these emotional patterns helps caregivers respond with empathy and proven strategies rather than dismissiveness.

Preparation Before the Separation

Proactive preparation sets the stage for healthier emotional adjustment. Children cope better when they know what to expect, feel included in planning, and understand when they will see their loved one again (if possible). 

Clear, Age‑Appropriate Communication

Open conversations that validate emotions lay a foundation of trust and emotional safety. Research on parent‑child attachment shows that a secure attachment relationship supports better emotional regulation and coping in children. Children who experience secure emotional bonds are more likely to handle stressful events, such as holiday separation, with greater resilience (Cooke et al., 2019). 

This means talking early, answering questions honestly, and reassuring children that the separation won’t change the love or connection they share with their caregivers.

Visual Tools and Routines

For younger children, visual calendars, countdown charts, or storyboards that illustrate when parents will return or when they will see parents again can help make time feel more predictable. Maintaining familiar routines, like evening rituals or mealtimes, even in the absence of parents can provide emotional anchoring.

Staying Emotionally Connected Across Distance

Although physical presence matters, emotional presence matters even more. Thoughtful use of technology and intentional connection strategies can uphold emotional continuity.

Scheduled Calls and Shared Moments

Consistent video calls or voice messages provide structure and positive anticipation. These moments reinforce emotional bonds and offer reassurance when children miss their caregivers.

Tangible Reminders of Home

Handwritten letters, postcards, voice recordings, or holiday care packages are physical reminders of love and presence. Transitional or comfort objects, like a blanket or favorite toy,  have been shown to reduce anxiety in children when they are away from familiar caregivers. 

These tokens do more than comfort; they serve as emotional bridges between the child’s current environment and their sense of home.

Creating Positive and Supportive Experiences

Separation doesn’t have to mean loneliness. A growing body of research shows that structured activities, social connection, and engagement can help children adjust emotionally and find positivity even in unfamiliar circumstances.

Peer Socialization and Group Engagement

Participation in community activities, holiday programs, clubs, or group games gives children opportunities to connect, make new friends, and form supportive peer relationships. Peer engagement contributes to emotional well‑being and reduces feelings of isolation.

Creative Expression and Interests

Encourage children to explore hobbies, arts, sports, or creative outlets. These activities foster self‑expression and help children channel emotions constructively, reducing stress and increasing confidence.

Helping Children Develop Emotion Regulation Skills

Emotion regulation, the ability to understand, express, and manage feelings, helps children to cope with separation. Strategies that support emotional regulation can help children manage anxiety, sadness, or frustration during holidays.

Validate Emotions Through Active Listening

When a child says “I miss my mom” or “why can’t they be here with me?,” acknowledge the sentiment. Validation does not dismiss the feeling; it honors it. Statements like:

“It sounds like you really miss Grandma. That must feel hard.”

help children feel understood and supported.

Mindfulness and Coping Techniques

Simple breathing exercises, guided visualization, or calm play can help children manage stress. Research on coping responses among youth shows that children who feel a sense of control and engage in adaptive coping, such as engaging activities, show reduced distress related to separation (Thurber & Weisz, 1997).

Supporting Children at Different Ages

Coping strategies should respect developmental differences:

  • Early Childhood (3–6 years): Younger children benefit most from physical reassurance, visual cues, and shared routines.
  • Middle Childhood (7–12 years): Older children can engage in conversations about feelings, set communication schedules, and participate in planning activities.
  • Adolescents (13–18 years): Teenagers appreciate autonomy and meaning in activities. Encourage meaningful projects, social involvement, and opportunities to connect with peers.

Additional Research on Attachment and Separation

A clear and consistent theme across child development research is the role of secure attachment relationships in supporting emotional adaptability. Children who perceive their caregivers as reliable, communicative, and emotionally available show stronger emotional resilience during separation and lowered anxiety symptoms.

When caregivers consistently respond to children’s needs, even when apart, they reinforce the child’s sense of security, which in turn supports healthier coping mechanisms.

Recognizing When Extra Support Is Needed

While some children adjust with parental or caregiver understanding and nurturing guidance, some might show persistent emotional distress. Signs include:

  • Ongoing sadness or withdrawal
  • Changes in sleep or appetite
  • Angry or aggressive behaviour or words (often at the caregiver who is present)
  • Excessive fear or anxiety
  • Increased irritability or missed participation

These patterns may signal a need for professional support from a child psychologist, counselor, or mental health specialist. Early support can prevent longer‑term challenges.

The Importance of the Reunion

Reunion after separation is a joyful moment, and also a sensitive one. Children may need time to share their experiences, express mixed emotions, or re‑establish routines. Be patient and open to dialogue. Ask gentle questions like:

“What did you enjoy most during the holidays?”

“Was there anything that felt hard or uncomfortable?”

These conversations can strengthen bonds and reinforce emotional processing.

Final Thoughts from the Director of RMPS

At RMPS, we are committed to nurturing emotionally healthy, confident, and resilient children. Being physically away from loved ones during holidays may be challenging, but it can also become an opportunity for growth, if children are supported with empathy, structure, and evidence‑based strategies.

Every child deserves to feel connected, secure, and understood, not just on holidays, but every day of their emotional journey. As parents, caregivers, and educators, let us validate children’s feelings, equip them with coping tools, and create environments that reinforce emotional well‑being even across distances.

When we do this thoughtfully and intentionally, absence does not have to mean loneliness, it can become a chapter in a child’s story of courage, resilience, and connection.

References

Demetriou, E. A., Boulton, K. A., Bowden, M. R., Thapa, R., & Guastella, A. J. (2022). An evaluation of homesickness in children: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of affective disorders, 297, 463–470. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2021.09.068

Cooke, J. E., Kochendorfer, L. B., Stuart-Parrigon, K. L., Koehn, A. J., & Kerns, K. A. (2019). Parent-child attachment and children’s experience and regulation of emotion: A meta-analytic review. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 19(6), 1103–1126. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000504

Thurber, C. A., & Weisz, J. R. (1997). “You can try or you can just give up”: the impact of perceived control and coping style on childhood homesickness. Developmental psychology, 33(3), 508–517. https://doi.org/10.1037//0012-1649.33.3.508

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MacKenzie Ebel

MacKenzie is a Psychometrist/Psychological Assistant at RMPS. She completed her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology at Princeton University, where she also played 4 years for the women’s ice hockey team. She recently completed her Masters in Counselling Psychology through City University of Seattle. MacKenzie has worked with children, youth, and their families in a number of settings, through coaching, as a behavioural aid, and counselling through her internship placement. She is excited to continue learning about assessment administration, neurofeedback, and play therapy practices at RMPS! Currently, she is part of the assessment and neurotherapy team, as she completes her final capstone assignment and intends to join our counselling team as a Registered Provisional Psychologist.

Tammy Thomson

Tammy is a graduate of the Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology (MACP) program at Yorkville University and is trained at the master’s level in art therapy as a professional art psychotherapist and member of the Canadian Art Therapy Association. She brings more than 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families in child development settings, children’s hospitals, and schools as an early childhood educator and elementary teacher. She completed a Bachelor of Applied Science specializing in Child Development Studies at the University of Guelph, Ontario and holds a Graduate Diploma of Teaching and Learning from the University of Canterbury in Christchurch, New Zealand. Tammy is a member of the Canadian Counsellor and Psychotherapy Association and College of Alberta Psychologists while pursuing her next goal of registration as a provisional psychologist. Tammy values a client-centered approach using play therapy and the expressive arts to support those who may find it difficult to articulate their thoughts and feelings with words. Children and families do not need any skill or prior art experience and the art studio is a safe place where children can gain a sense of independence, greater emotional regulation, and confidence through self-exploration. Expressive interventions in art therapy can treat behavioural issues, anxiety, depression, ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, physical and developmental disabilities, and attachment difficulties. As a parent of three young children herself, Tammy understands the complexities of family life using compassion to help parents feel more confident in their role of raising a successful family.

Raquel Freitas

Raquel is an Office Administrator at RMPS. Back in Brazil, her home country, she graduated as a Psychologist and worked as a clinician for the past 5 years. Although she loved working with children and adults, she discovered a new passion: manage the administrative tasks that keep the business running. 

As someone who is passionate about learning new things and developing new skills, with the career transition also came the decision to live abroad and explore a new culture. To serve empathetically and connect with people is Raquel’s main personal and professional goal.

Emma Donnelly

Emma is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She completed her Bachelor of Arts in Psychology in her hometown at Brandon University, after which she moved to Calgary to earn her Master’s of Science in School and Applied Child Psychology at the University of Calgary. Emma has a passion for working with children and families and has experience doing so in a number of settings, including schools, homes, early intervention programs, and within the community. She specializes in assessment, including psychoeduational, social-emotional-behavioural, and autism assessment. Emma uses a client centred approach to counselling, supported by cognitive behavioural therapy, as well as play-based and attachment-based techniques. She believes in meeting clients where they are at and prides herself in working together with her clients to achieve their goals, improve their functioning, and enjoy their daily life.

Amanda Stoner

Amanda is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. Amanda earned her doctoral degree in Psychology at Brock University in Ontario in 2017, with a specialization in developmental psychology. Amanda provides formal assessment services at RMPS. 

Since 2009, Amanda has received formal training and work experience in private practice settings in conducting psycho-educational assessments for students ranging from preschool through university. Amanda is skilled at test administration, interpretation of data, and report writing for various referral questions including ADHD, Learning Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Anxiety, Giftedness, and Intellectual Disabilities. Amanda enjoys working with people of all ages from diverse backgrounds, and she tries to make the testing environment feel relaxed and comfortable while maintaining integrity in testing protocol.

Denise Riewe

Denise has completed a Bachelor of Health Sciences through the University of Lethbridge and a Master of Counselling with Athabasca University. She is a Registered Provisional Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists and a member of the Psychological Association of Alberta. Denise has over 9 years of experience supporting children, youth and their families in both residential and community-based practices. Denise is experienced in working with high and at-risk youth, supporting children and their families with strength-based approaches. She practices from a client-center approach supported by Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Theraplay, and other play and art-based modalities.

John Pynn

John is a Registered Provisional Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. He completed his Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology at Yorkville University. He brings more than 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families in a variety of settings. He brings a relaxed and collaborative atmosphere to sessions. John uses an integrated counselling approach including client-centred, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Solution-Focussed therapy (SFT) to find the best-fit for clients. He has experience with a variety of mental health concerns including anxiety, depression, anger, self-
esteem, relationships, parenting, ADHD, grief/loss, addictions, and trauma. This broad experience comes from working in schools, social service agencies, group-care, and clinical settings. He also draws from the practical experience of being a parent to two teenagers as well as a husband. Supporting and empowering clients with mental health concerns is something John genuinely enjoys. John also provides counselling for adults and holds a Gottman level 1 certification for couples therapy.

Zara Crasto

Zara is a Psychometrist/Psychological Assistant at RMPS. She completed her Bachelor of Science in Psychology at the University of Calgary and her Graduate Diploma in Psychological Assessment at Concordia University of Edmonton. 

Zara has spent over five years working alongside children, adolescents, and their families in a variety of settings. These include public and private schools, in-home support, residential programs, early-intervention programs, and non-profit organizations. Currently, Zara is part of the assessment and neurotherapy team. As a lifelong learner, Zara plans to go back to graduate school and eventually become a psychologist one day.

Kellie Lanktree

Kellie is a Registered Psychologist with the College of Alberta Psychologists. She completed a Bachelor of Child and Youth Care with the University of Victoria and a Master of Education in Counselling Psychology through the University of Lethbridge. Kellie has over 10 years experience supporting children and youth with developmental disorders/delays and their families. Kellie has experience working in schools, clinical settings, and within homes to provide support and therapeutic interventions. Through her time at RMPS, Kellie has also gained experience in helping individuals affected by trauma, grief/loss, separations, emotional dysregulation, depression, and anxiety. Kellie practices through developmental, attachment-based and trauma-informed lenses, and draws from a variety of play-based approaches such as Synergetic Play Therapy, Child-centered play therapy, DIR/Floortime, art-based mediums, and mindfulness-based practices. Kellie also provides Neurofeedback therapy, and is working on receiving her certification through BCIA. Kellie believes in meeting children and their families where they are at and that there is no “one size fits all” for therapy.